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IC Contact post for Mask or Menace
Text | E-mail | Voicemail | Phone call | Hologram | Other
Text | E-mail | Voicemail | Phone call | Hologram | Other
I swallowed some food coloring the other day.
The doctor says I’m all right, but I feel like I’ve dyed inside.
The doctor says I’m all right, but I feel like I’ve dyed inside.
I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.
They’re always up to something.
Something about subtraction just doesn’t add up...
Police were called to a day care center the other day.
A three year old was resisting a rest.
A three year old was resisting a rest.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing— it just let out a little whine.
Nothing— it just let out a little whine.
(I’ve got like. A million of these by the way. This is totally going to be a nice welcome back present for you, riiiiight~?)
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician.
They can go on about it forever.
They can go on about it forever.
There’s this guy that survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
He’s a seasoned veteran.
He’s a seasoned veteran.
I knew a woman who owned a taser.
Man, was she STUNNING.
Man, was she STUNNING.
The first time I used an elevator, it was really uplifting!
But then it let me down. ):
But then it let me down. ):
I was once in so much debt I couldn’t even afford my electricity bill.
Those were the darkest times of my life.
Those were the darkest times of my life.
I just went to a really emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.
Even the cake was in tiers.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes...
If you think this is bad, I once did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was just a play on words.
It was just a play on words.
Eh, I’m bored now. If you’re not back later, I’ll keep your inbox company again.
[ Hopefully there wasn’t a limit to how many texts a person could receive... ]
[ Hopefully there wasn’t a limit to how many texts a person could receive... ]
[ Some days later... ]
Okay thanks to the crap you had Kitagawa do I’m back in the hospital.
It’s only fair that I THANK YOU.
[ Uh oh. ]
Okay thanks to the crap you had Kitagawa do I’m back in the hospital.
It’s only fair that I THANK YOU.
[ Uh oh. ]
Hey you were in music; d’ya ever run into this vampire rock band?
I heard they sucked.
I heard they sucked.
My friend’s bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast.
Now his business is toast.
Finding steak puns is hard.
They’re a rare medium well-done.
They’re a rare medium well-done.
You should know that telekinesis is not a handy skill...
You say I don’t respect anyone, but that’s not true.
I really look up to my tall friends~~!
I really look up to my tall friends~~!
Why doesn’t Kaneki eat clowns?
Probably because they taste funny.
Probably because they taste funny.
I would tell an unemployment joke, but none of them work...
I had a pun about insanity, but I lost it...
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
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