IC Contact post for Mask or Menace

[dun_moch]

"You have reached Count Dooku. I regret that I am unavailable to answer your hail. Kindly leave a message, and I shall respond at the earliest opportunity."

Text | E-mail | Voicemail | Phone call | Hologram | Other

Comments

[sleight_of_hand]

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He's lucky it was a soft drink.

[sleight_of_hand]

This girl said she knew me from a vegetarian restaurant, but I never met herbivore.

[sleight_of_hand]

Hey, did you know there was this butcher that backed up into a meat grinder and got a little behind in his work~?

[sleight_of_hand]

I know you miss me, Dooku-san.
Hopefully your aim will be improved when you get back~

[sleight_of_hand]

I totally understand how batteries feel.
I’m never included in things either.

[sleight_of_hand]

There’s this dwarf fortune teller that kills people out there.
He’s a small medium at large.

[sleight_of_hand]

I swallowed some food coloring the other day.
The doctor says I’m all right, but I feel like I’ve dyed inside.

[sleight_of_hand]

I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.

[sleight_of_hand]

Something about subtraction just doesn’t add up...

[sleight_of_hand]

Police were called to a day care center the other day.
A three year old was resisting a rest.

[sleight_of_hand]

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing— it just let out a little whine.

[sleight_of_hand]

(I’ve got like. A million of these by the way. This is totally going to be a nice welcome back present for you, riiiiight~?)

[sleight_of_hand]

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician.
They can go on about it forever.

[sleight_of_hand]

There’s this guy that survived mustard gas and pepper spray.
He’s a seasoned veteran.

[sleight_of_hand]

I knew a woman who owned a taser.
Man, was she STUNNING.

[sleight_of_hand]

The first time I used an elevator, it was really uplifting!
But then it let me down. ):

[sleight_of_hand]

I was once in so much debt I couldn’t even afford my electricity bill.
Those were the darkest times of my life.

[sleight_of_hand]

I just went to a really emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.

[sleight_of_hand]

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes...

[sleight_of_hand]

If you think this is bad, I once did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was just a play on words.

[sleight_of_hand]

Eh, I’m bored now. If you’re not back later, I’ll keep your inbox company again.

[ Hopefully there wasn’t a limit to how many texts a person could receive... ]

[sleight_of_hand]

[ Some days later... ]

Okay thanks to the crap you had Kitagawa do I’m back in the hospital.
It’s only fair that I THANK YOU.

[ Uh oh. ]

[sleight_of_hand]

Hey you were in music; d’ya ever run into this vampire rock band?
I heard they sucked.

[sleight_of_hand]

My friend’s bakery burned down last night.
Now his business is toast.

[sleight_of_hand]

Finding steak puns is hard.
They’re a rare medium well-done.